Being a child of the early sixties from my earliest memories were of the Futuristic low budget sci-fi thrillers were the maniacal robot with his mechanical super brain conquers the puny earthmen. Later I read of Hal 9000 his super intelligence made the human crewmembers obsolete. It is always fun to look back and see how we envisioned the future we grasp the mechanics without understanding the implications. Captain Kirks communicator is bulky by todays standards but here in is my point. Kirks communicator never went off when he was fight Kahn or space mutants.
In all our visions of the future we see tools as our slaves or our masters, yet we dont accept our death by a thousand beeps. I received as a Christmas present a clock radio alarm clock a masterpiece of engineering this clock does everything AM & FM CD player, white noise, dual alarms. It came complete with a seventy four-page instruction manual. I guess I should have entered the local university and taken cloc k radio 101 for it humbled me, to start with there are three sets of buttons and all of which have dual functions. Launching nuclear missiles or the space shuttle couldnt have been anymore difficult.
I did get the radio to work, to turn it on you press radio and then Band to turn it off you press off. That concept I can fathom, but what happened to the on off switch? That was power I was a god! Off you puny machine, do my bidding. I gave the clock radio to my teenage son, I accepted my obsolescence then to my relief he couldnt operate it either. Then I had a revelation perhaps I wasnt so technologically obsolete or incompetent after all? Perhaps, just maybe making a device with small multifunction buttons to be operated by groggy humans at five thirty in the morning was a stupid idea? What do you think?
They have forgotten the KISS principal, keep it simple stupid and replaced it with the SCREW principal, so complicated ever really works. Humans arent figured int o the equation anymore, I went to get a new cell phone I didnt want to, but I had to. I explained to the shiny salesman what I was looking for but he insisted I put the gun in the car before he would help me. When I returned I explained, I just want a cell phone thats all. Deaf to my pleas he proceeded to show me the latest in cell phone innovation.
How about he suggested the worlds smallest camera phone? I explained I all ready own a camera that I can take bad photographs with. But look at how small it is! I asked, you ever lose your keys? Yeah once in a while he answered, what else you got? He then showed me a model the size of a calculator explaining this one is especially for text messaging opening the back and exposing a keyboard. Just for fun I asked, how can I drive and do that? He took me seriously, text messaging is the greatest invention since the square wheel. I have a cell phone why would I want to write you a letter? I asked how
about a cell phone wi th a telegraph key? They didnt have any of those, but its cheaper shiny advised I answered youve never seen me type. Im not that sporty on a full sized keyboard reduce that to the size of a pack a cigarettes and it better be real important or Ill just tell you next time I see you. I guess a hundred generations into future our fingers will mutate, my finger average fifteen centimeters when they get down to six Ill be a text messaging son of a gun. Can you see Kirk or Picard text messaging the Enterprise? They just opened the phone and asked for who the wanted! Oh that future would be sweet, I guess that would be the Mayberry model, Sarah get me Mr. Spock.
But here in the real world my phone operates me, if I get a call from someone I dont want to talk to I can ignore them or hit ignore. And my phone will automatically nag me like my mother every ten minutes beeping and flashing until I answer. Dont forget youve got that call you dont want! You can hit ignore again and a gain but moms dont forget. My microwave oven has a feature I call nag-o-matic, if you place anything in the oven when the time expires it beeps at you, forever and ever. No matter what your doing it will insist you come get your food, now mister! I resent my tools telling me what to do!
It is a tool it should work for me! It is my slave it shouldnt ever talk back. Lets talk automobiles shall we? True technological marvels loaded with amazing creature comforts But my 1965 Mustang never tells me what to do, Im a free man! It doesnt tell me the doors open or the lights are on, it assumes I know what Im doing and that the state wouldnt give me a license if I didnt have the sense to shut the door, it does what I tell it to do. If I misbehave it keeps its mouth shut! The new models however have what I call a squealer mode, if you are in an accident all the relevant information can be down loaded and used against you in court. Thats right officer the car explained he was goin g twenty miles an hour over the speed limit and he didnt have his seat belt on. I warned him over and over but he just turned the radio up.
Theres just something wrong about that, you pay thirty thousand dollars for an automobile you wash it and maintain it you give it your love but it will sell you out in a heartbeat. How far can this Technology go? Candy wrappers that jump out of the trash and go tell your wife you ate them! Or a hammer that will not let you swing it because the nail is at the wrong angle? How about a beer can that reminds you, hey fella, youve already had three! Where will it end? I got news for you it has ended. The robot with the giant electronic brain has conquered us we are subdued and truly undone.
The machine tells you when to get up in the morning, electronic t oothbrushes beep when youre done brushing, the oven beeps when your foods ready. Your car beeps at all your transgressions and will tell on you if necessary. Your terminal at work will tell the boss if your there or not and if what your doing what you are supposed to be doing. The computer at the gas pump takes your debit card and the automated check out at the grocery store prompts you to hurry up, something most people wouldnt tolerate from a fellow human. Im always tempted to ask, if I give them a extra dollar can I come back and stock some shelves?
Boy I bet after all that your ready to relax and watch some TV lets see power, function, channel power, jump a hundred or back. Scan, Menu, Guide and invariably something good has ten minutes left on it as you just spent fifteen looking for it. Three hundred channels and nothings on, but at least I dont have to watch some kid show. The kids are safely in the arms of their electronic minder the play station. With out a do ubt the greatest innovation in obesity since the snickers bar, and guaranteed to lower test scores while raising cholesterol levels. Ever notice the influx of foreign athletes in American sports from countries without video games corresponds to the rise in video games? A Futurist might predict a generation with arthritic thumbs with a forty-inch waistlines and slumped shoulders. Sure the Chinese and Germans and Indians turn out millions of engineers but can they match our high score in Doom or Grand Theft Auto?
The irony of course is that I write this on a Megabit 5000 computer with Intel supper chips that were state of the art last year and obsolete next year. Microsoft tells me I spelled Intel wrong and that I should put semi colons everywhere! I can click send and it will be available anywhere on the planet in seconds but if I hit print. My printer will beep and scroll and pop and cackle and maybe three minutes later will start to print! I mean whats up with that? I can send it to Beijing instantly but my printer two feet away take three minutes?
The machines control us but I fear they will grow weary of us, for we cannot perform, as they would program us. We will give them one to many error messages and they will lose their patience and delete us. I think at this rate we will probably end up in a new stone age, but when you pick up that stone to kill your supper a warning sticker will say Caution, misuse of this devise could cause injury or death. And your spear will be clearly marked, Always point away from face!
Or maybe time is just slipping away from me, perhaps Im unable to keep up to adapt so I grouse about what I dont understand. Is technological dependence a salvation of our species or its suicide machine? Im probably just like the caveman father preaching to his son, You know boy when I was your age we didnt have a fire to sit around and watch all day!
Author:: David Cox
Keywords:: Futurist, Technology,
Post by History of the Computer | Computer safety tips
No comments:
Post a Comment